062: The Inner Child
Or "I went to VeeCon and all I got was.... ENLIGHTENMENT.
QUICK NEWS! Draw or Die will be setup at 3 Rivers Comicon on June 2-3rd in Pittsburgh, PA. If you’ll be at the show I would like to organize a Saturday evening meetup and live drawing together. Hit me up.
It’s not often in life you have these kind of awakenings, or epiphanies.
Something that really shifts your perspective on everything.
The only other time I think I felt this feeling I’m about to explain was when I was 7 years old and I had a sudden epiphany that someone, some human, actually drew the comic I was holding in my hands. (GI JOE #21)
40 years later this feeling happened again.
And of all the places it happened, it happened at VeeCon, Gary Vaynerchuk’s annual convention, mostly NFT and digital collectors and entrepreneurs. I wasn’t even supposed to be there. I was gifted a ticket from my wife’s new job and decided to make it a chill few days away, maybe explore a bit and listen to some speakers.
I’ve spoken about “vibe” before in week 51: Your money or your life. And the vibe at VeeCon was one of the friendliest and most positive I’ve ever encountered. I was genuinely surprised. It wasn’t really a convention about NFTs or Business… it really felt like a gathering of people all pursuing their dreams and passions.
Enlightenment for Breakfast
That Saturday morning we were invited to a breakfast by some nice folks at FlexiArt who turned their AirBnB into a spot to fill up VeeFriends for the long day ahead.
Very nice folks.
Something I wasn’t expecting to happen at breakfast was a friggin’ guided meditation.
I admit, I’ve never meditated before.
Or I maybe tried and failed miserably in the past. I never GOT IT. Ever. I think maybe because my thoughts never seem to quiet down.
I only experience the “calm” people explain with meditation when I’m about 30 minutes into drawing. (or as I call it, the motherf#cking zone!)
I played along because I wanted to be respectful. This was the price of my breakfast, guys 😂. It couldn’t be so hard, right? The awkwardness would be over in a few minutes and we could go on about our day.
But then during the guided meditation, the guide was talking about going to that place inside, where your inner child is. And it’s supposed to be this place of peace, and calm…. and a feeling came over me.
It wasn’t a feeling of calm for me.
The feeling I felt deep down was … ANGER and PAIN.
🔥 Like a FIRE inside of me. Sitting there, burning.
Meanwhile the guide is telling the group to release these feelings we had inside.
And I felt a rush of emotion. Tears coming on…. and I pulled myself out of that.
I can’t be crying in front of all of these strangers, y’all!
I mean, c’mon!
I reigned it in.
Pulled my shit together.
That was close!
And then came…
DEEPAK MotherFuggin CHOPRA
Deepak was on the speaking schedule, and I wanted to go see his speech because 30 years ago I read “7 Spiritual Laws of Success” which had a profound effect on me way back then. (a great short book)
And guess what?
Suddenly I was in our second guided meditation of the day.
Give me a dang break here, universe!
This one felt even more profound.
He too spoke of that inner self. That inner child.
Who you REALLY are.
And this time… instead of running away, I let it ride.
I went deeper and visualized what was beyond the fires?
It was ME. The inner child version of me.
Sitting, blissfully under a tree. Drawing pictures.
Ready for an adventure out in nature.
I remembered how I’d run and play deep in the woods.
Absolutely no fears.
The visualization of the inner me, had these old stone walls built around him, like a sphere. To protect from all the slings, arrows and bombs that come at you in life.
That came at me very early.
I built these walls around my inner child to protect him.
And I’m glad I did.
All the fire, and anger, and pain was outside those walls.
He was oblivious to it.
That wasn’t even the friggin’ epiphany…
THE EPIPHANY
All week I kept thinking about these feelings. The epiphany is that when I’m speaking to other people, to you, I’m actually trying to speak or connect with YOUR inner child.
I’m like the kid who rolls up to your house and wants you to come out and play.
But maybe you’re grounded.
Maybe someone else won’t let you come out?
Maybe you’ve been locked away! Kidnapped even!
When people tell me what I “bring into the room” is encouragement….
it’s my inner child. That’s what I really bring into the room.
That is who is speaking to you.
And it’s always been this way for me, I just never realized.
One of the first questions I like to ask strangers or new acquaintances is what did they dream of doing when they were a kid?
We all know that life kinda has a way of locking that inner child away.
At some point you’re told to put away your childish things.
That ART can never be a real job.
That your dreams are just pipe dreams.
The world grinds you down. And keeps grinding.
And yet, here I am again.
I’m knocking at your door.
I’m throwing rocks up at your window.
I’m ready for an adventure. I found a treasure map.
Are you in?
Let’s go!
🔥This Week’s Drawing CHALLENGE is:
DRAW YOUR INNER CHILD.
I hope you have fun with this one. I hope it brings you some peace and joy. Be sure to tag #drawordieclub on the platform of your choice so I can see your art. OR drop it in our DISCORD COMMUNITY.
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Such a good post - thank you for sharing your experience. Your drawing of your inner child drawing, surrounded by sturdy walls - that's pretty powerful.
Stop throwing rocks at my window!!!
I had a near breakthrough via guided meditation nearly 20 years as an unhappily married, church-going guy. I say “nearly” because the avenue, the setting, and the intention were all very, very wrong. But all these years later I still think about it, and your story here gets me to thinking it might be time to visit that wounded boy again.
Thanks for sharing, DJ.