018-019: Just Me And My Shadow
Embracing Your Shadow Self, the Tool to Self-Confidence
Last week was the first week in over two years, 119 weeks, that i missed a weekly newsletter.
And I’m okay with it.
Let’s just call this 018-019 to keep things on track.
Today I want to give you a powerful tool I learned to help with self-confidence, overcome imposter syndrome, improve public speaking….
I used to put this pressure on myself that I couldn’t miss the newsletter or let anyone down. In fact, there are a lot of artists out there who look forward to hearing from me each week. That’s incredibly humbling.
“Where’s D.J.?” - When I miss the schedule, or even post late sometimes, I get messages from art friends asking if I’m okay. That feels very nice to know people care or I know you’re paying attention….
I don’t like this newsletter to be ABOUT ME. It’s mainly for YOU, my Art Friends. But rest assured, I’m fine, healthyish, happy and dialed in working on comics, and honestly “living my dream.” My schedule is a little nuts at the moment, but it won’t always be this way.
A quick plug, if I may…
Tomorrow morning, July 1st I’m starting a DAILY STREAM as I draw comics at VeeFriends. This will be 8am-9:30am EST, Mon-Fri on the VeeFriends Youtube channel. On those streams I’m working on the daily comics, talking about the craft, but also talking about life in general. My hope is it will be a good way for many to start their days with good vibes and energy and encouragement. It’s the same spirit as “Draw or Die” just without the skulls and dying and stuff. :D - Streaming schedule is up there: https://www.youtube.com/@veefriends/streams - Join live and say HI, or catch a replay and comment in the replay crew. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
Now….
The Tool to Unlock Self-Confidence and Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Last weekend I was drawing live at Kansas City Collecticon at the VeeFriends booth AND I got to speak on stage and do a presentation of how I draw the comics. Afterwards at the booth someone asked me how I was so comfortable and unscripted on the stage in front of a crowd.
It’s not something I’ve always been able to do.
I don’t know when it clicked on for me, but recently I read the book “THE TOOLS” by Phil Stutz, and realized, oh my gosh, I’ve been doing that all along and not knowing it. You might know STUTZ from the Netflix documentary of the same name. He’s a psychotherapist of the stars. Highly recommend the documentary and the book to you.
The first thing you need to do is identify and visualize YOUR SHADOW SELF. I talked a bit about this “voice” in week 14 of the newsletter. “Two minds exist within.”
It’s that part of you that you maybe are ashamed of. Your darker side. Your weaker side. The one that keeps you safe in your comfort zone. Or tells you that you’re not enough.
For this exercise to work you need to picture what your shadow self looks like. You never have to tell anyone else or be vulnerable. It can only be FOR YOU to see. But i truly believe that being vulnerable is our super power.
My shadow? I even have a name for mine. It’s DREW PRICE. An alter-ego from my old webcomics. A version of me that was jaded, cynical, “burn it all down and tell them all to go fuck themselves!” The one who never asks for help. He doesn’t need it. The one who’s family never really loved him,the one who’s ashamed of being from that dysfunctional family and would never let you know about that. The one who was labeled “socially and emotionally maladjusted” because he drew Eddie from Iron Maiden when he was in the 5th grade. The one who hides all the pain away, bottles it up as fuel for the fire in the belly.
My wife Aleasha gave this part of me a name when she first met me. DJMFC. Or “DJ Motherfucking Coffman” - I like that. It’s sounds so romantic. 😂
I used to tap that “shadow” regularly when I needed it in hard times. It CAN be an asset if you work together with it, instead of against each other.
But you also can’t let it completely take over. My shadow would give a big middle finger everything and just become a strange reclusive cartoonist, with a no-holds barred, scorched earth, cartooning policy. I’d probably be on a hit list from crazy cults and religions. (i did once get death threats from my yirmumah comics)
I know this must all sound so weird to some people. But it’s true. This form of creative visualization can change your mindset and your life for the better.
But that’s the secret of how I’m so comfortable in my own skin now. I embrace my shadow self. We’re… good friends? Or at least I’ve come to work together instead of pretend it doesn’t exist or wash it away.
The Exercise…
So this is the exercise you need to do below, taken directly from the book THE TOOLS…
1. Imagine You Are On Stage
Imagine yourself standing in front of an audience (could be one or thousands of people).
2. Bond With Your Shadow
Ignore the audience and focus completely on the Shadow. You may see your shadow in the audience, Feel an unbreakable bond between the two of you—as a unit you are fearless.
3. Shout, “LISTEN!”
Together, you and the Shadow forcefully turn toward the audience and silently command them to "LISTEN!" Feel the authority that comes when you and your Shadow speak with one voice.
I never actively did that exercise until last weekend before my talk on stage.
And… it felt wonderful.
I was even more comfortable than I usually am. It wasn’t just tapping that energy to psych me up and get rid of anxiousness… it just felt as though a higher power took over and worked through me, together.
Note, I’m not saying your shadow speaks. Like I said, you don’t let it take over. In my case I wouldn’t tell the audience to go fuck themselves. BUT, I wouldn’t be afraid to tell them some deep thing that was on my mind, or be vulnerable.
THAT is how you truly connect with people as an artist and storyteller.
Try it, it feels amazing.
Today’s Drawing Exercise:
DRAW YOUR SHADOW SELF.
You don’t have to show anyone. Some people see their shadows and ugly monsters, or animals. A pimply faced kid. An out of shape loser… an angry old person. Whatever you “see” try to draw it out. Say hello to your shadow.
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